Who broke the build?

Somebody (I say mom) messed up and David didn’t build (wake up) properly this week. Our CI server (crib) reported (loud cries) a failed build! It seemed like some (most) unit tests have failed and we’ll be able to fix him right up.
First of we identified the failed unit test and found it failing at:

Assert(this.Core.Temperature.ToCelsius() <= 37.5,
 "Core temperature to high!");

It’s always nice (sarcasm) to find a bug in your core library. So we re-built a debug version (washed, changed diapers, fed him), enabled tracers and run the standard tests again (went to the pediatrician). The results were inconclusive (“the lab results are inconclusive”) so our team (me and mom) decided (were told to) deploy the application (David) in the debug mode (closely watched) and see what happens (wait).
Of course we did some tweaks to the code (paracetamol, cough syrup, ventolin) and put other projects (work) on standby (dev null). This made a few project managers (bosses) happy (mad). They now had the time to reflect on (yell profanities) and improve (change beyond recognition) their project requirements (an e-mail) to better suit the reality (their imagination).
Eventually we resolved the temperature issue and our daily builds (mornings) are doing fine. The annoying thing is – we have no clue as to what went wrong and who broke the build! This is what they fail to teach you at parenting classes and this is what your parents never got around to tell you. Once your child is born - you will never know solid ground again. All that is certain from now on is the uncertainty. Sudden fevers will scare you, bumps and bruises will have you running to the ER. Coughs will put wild ideas in your head and most cries in the middle of the night will turn out to be yours.

Guiding system malfunction?

This weekend marked the beginning of a series of failures in David's navigation subsystem. It started out with an uncertain step or two and quickly escalated into serious collisions with solid state objects. Our development team (mom and me) was stumped. David was apparently turning into a danger seeking missile. After lengthly consultation with senior developers (grandparents) we decided to continue monitoring the situation and keeping an eye on trace logs.
After a while it became apparent that there was no bug in the subsystem module. All system are go. It seems David just got way to confident in his abilities. A busted lip, some bruises and a few head bumps are just warning signs of things to come. It seems David is definitely not one of those quiet, unassuming, modest children that play with their toys while mom and dad lovingly observe them with that serene look on their faces. He's more like... well this:

Consultants of swing

David developed some bugs last week so I had to hire some consultants to help me fix the problems. As always outsourcing turned out to be an fascinating experience. Apparently The Consultants work through a strict checklist before they actually begin debugging.

• Refer the project to another consultant.


• Do nothing.


• Express amazement at progress.

So David spent two days in a hospital to make us feel better I guess. He displayed an remarkable ability to self debug! I know what you are thinking: “how could I do it in my current project? I’m way behind schedule and I haven’t yet begun writing those pesky test suites…” Well, the truth is, don’t really remember putting that in, but I can’t have mom take the credit now can I?

Who cares, I’m just happy David is all better now!

Debugging (part II)

I was on my own again.

I raided the home pharmacy (with my dad being an MD I do not use the term haphazardly) and found nothing (nothing I’m allowed to use on a 9.5 kg humanoid). It was time to go out and buy some drugs. This being the information age – the age of web 2.0 shops and services – one does not expect leaving the comfy chair would be necessary. In my country one would be wrong.
So I ventured out (physically walked!) in the friezing cold (ok I’m exaggerating here!). To my horror the pharmacy was packed. I had to wait in line while bunch of old ladies (with mean elbows!) got the info on the latest fad diseases. Meanwhile my wife sent me a MMS photo of David looking like Regan Teresa MacNeil at her worst. I’m not sure what happened next but the line in front of me was suddenly cleared. A few of the old ladies were moaning and the clerk was looking at me kinda funny but I paid cash and was out of there in a flash.

Debugging (part I)

A few days ago David started acting strangely. He was less cheerful then usual and that is a bad omen. He was crankier then usual; a regular mr. Ganglion! He was throwing more exceptions then usual - plus me and mom developed a splitting headache - so I knew we had a bug on our hands.

It was time to fire-up those debugging tools! The first tool you should always use in such situations is a Home Medical Encyclopedia. This is the kind of book your grandma buys from a ruthless encyclopedia salesman. This informed me David is either perfectly healthy, he is dying or any number of things in between.

My second weapon of choice was (of course) The Little Search Engine That Could. Only this time it couldn't. With links like: a survey, a credit card (I can still see the friggin’ numbers!) and ovaries I walked away with a strange feeing baby fever has more to do with female adult mental disorders than David!

So I phoned my dad who told me to sit tight and to call back if the fever gets up to 40°C.
Needles to say I wasn’t satisfied with this…